The Pursuit of Happiness

Last week, in at least 3 different blogs i read, the authors mentioned a new book coming out, Gretchen Rubin's Happier at Home. Apparently, it is a follow-up to Rubin's previous book, The Happiness Project. When i looked into her books, i was intrigued with the concept. Who doesn't want to have a happier home and be a happier person? Since i hadn't read the first book and i like to read things in order, and since the second book just came out so it would be less easy to find at my local library, i loaded up Caroline in the car and brought J along to watch her and headed to the library.

photo found here

In her first book on happiness, Rubin writes of her year-long quest to become a happier person. She picked 11 areas to focus on, one for each month, and came up with action steps (resolutions) to keep which would make her happier in that area. Each month she would add that month's resolutions to the list of resolutions from the previous months, and even kept a daily record of how she was doing in keeping her resolutions. The final month, December, she spent daily keeping all her resolutions from the previous 11 months. 

The list-maker and chart-keeper in me loves this.

i've only read a few chapters so far, enough to understand the catalyst for her undertaking such a project and the first three months (Energy, Marriage and Work), and i'm already gaining great insight.

Should i attempt to be happier?

Reading Rubin's research, it definitely seems like it would be extremely beneficial to be a happier person. Happy people are better partners, friends and workers. Happy people are more of a pleasure to be around. And of course, happy people find more joy in life.

Yet i've realized i have this weird line of thinking. When i read about Jesus in the Gospels, i always see Him as the "Suffering Servant." He gave up His life, both literally and figuratively, to do the Father's will, traveling a road that led Him through towns were He was despised and eventually to the cross. His life certainly didn't seem "happy." And  if i'm suppose to be like Christ, then i'm suppose to suffer too. Somehow this translates into me thinking it might be "unChristian" to attempt to be happier.

The more i think about this, the more i don't really think that's right. Didn't Jesus Himself say that He came so we can have a full life (John 10.10), and didn't He want His disciples to be filled with joy (John 16)? Granted, there is a vast difference between an all-encompassing joy that comes from Christ, and feeling "happy" because i have a new pair of shoes on today. But i don't see how it could be wrong to try to be a happier, or more joyful, person. If anything, i believe it would make me more open to being like Christ than walking through life trying to remain in a constant state of misery.

"What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while."

When i read this statement, one of Rubin's Secrets of Adulthood, it was like a light bulb clicked over my head. It's so simple, common sense really. Big moments occurring every so often, or big action steps taken once in a while, may bring about moments of happiness or change. But to truly have happiness in my daily life and for happiness to truly become a habit, i have to practice it daily. The same can be said for anything really, but it just struck me anew when i read it in regards to being happier. Only i can make my life happier, and it will only change if i work at it every day.

"I didn't want to look back, at the end of my life or after some great catastrophe, and think, 'How happy I used to be then, if only I'd realized it.'"

Here's the crux of it all for me. i totally agree with Rubin's sentiment here. How often do i take life's little moments for granted? Just like happiness will be most lasting in my everyday life, i need to be more aware of the happiness that is already present. By figuring out what makes me happy or joyful in key areas of my life, and by taking action steps to increase such happiness, i'll be more daily aware of the blessed happy life i currently have.

So, i'm thinking in the near future i'll start my own happiness project. The perfectionist and over-achiever in me is going to have a hard time narrowing down areas to focus on, and not assigning myself an impossible amount of action steps each month, and finding patience to focus on one area at a time. Yet i think it will be really worth it. Even if i completely fail at keeping such a project going, at least i'll have identified my desire to be happy and what can help make me so. 

Have any of you ever attempted your own happiness project? 

i'd love to hear how it went.